What's Mine Is Mine
by Hana Rui
Summary: Fiction #02: Forever Ours--This is the only way I know by which we can make this moment forever ours. Here is Ginji's response to Ban's confession. BanGinji. Angst/Shounen-ai.
1. What's Mine Is Mine

**Fandom:** Getbackers

**Summary:** A sudden rush of bitter apprehension, a single moment of proximity, can both bring about the most exacting truth. Sometimes just having him close is enough for you to know you own him forever

* * *

**Title: **What's Mine Is Mine

**Author: **Hana Rui

**Genre: **shounen-ai

**Pairing: **Ban Mido x Ginji Amano

* * *

Unbreakable. That's what you are.

An un-subdued, wayward beast in a bunny costumewhose unbounded heart can never be tamed.

At least, not by a guy.

Like me.

"_Ne_, Ban-chan, did you notice how cute Natsumi-chan was this morning?"

Yah, I did notice how you ogled at her all day, practically drooling all over the place.

It's always been girls who are cute for you.

Not guys.

Never me.

"_Ne_, Ban-chan?"

"Of course! I noticed her even before you did!" Gaudy and arrogant—two fine layers of the pretentious façade I have been laying upon what was left of my manly pride.

Sure, I did notice Natsumi in her new uniform this morning. But only after I realized I had been gazing quite too long and sappily at you.

Have you noticed how irresistibly vibrant, cute—okay, and _adorable_ you grow to be each passing day?

Bet you never did.

Just as you never realized how my damn eyes have been sticking secretly at you these past few days.

And quite dreamily, too, may I add to my further _embarrassment_.

I know Paul's beginning to get some funny ideas, judging by the way he always gives me that knowing smile whenever he has a chance.

And Hevn, too. That annoyingly perceptive _baba-san_ who even had the nerve to confront and threaten me! ME! It had only been a few days ago after all, and I could still remember every word she spat to my face:

"If you ever hurt Gin-chan in anyway, there'd be hell to pay!"

Judging by the way her inhumanely huge rack shook with each word, you can tell she was deadly serious about it, too. Ch! That woman's never really failed to give me more trouble than she's worth!

So, yeah. Just about everybody who knows us has already reached the heights of Paul's funny ideas. Your cute little crush, Natsumi. That annoyingly overbearing Saru-manshi. The absurdly effeminate Ito-maki. Even his sickeningly loyal blind lover—

Imagine, a blind man! A blind man, Ginji! Whenever I have the _misfortune_ of standing in the path of his sightlessness, I feel like he can see right into my very core. That asshole!

Sometimes, though, I wish you could draw on the perception these people have in excess.

Sometimes I wish you would just notice…

Me.

Staring at you like this.

Pining.

Fawning, though, secretly.

Waiting.

Just waiting right here.

For you.

For your eyes to gaze at me with the same passionate intensity as my own.

For you to just look at me.

Look at me…

DAMMIT, GINJI, JUST LOOK AT ME!

"Ban-chan, do you think I'm ugly?"

I was suckered out of my desperate trance by that question. By his quiet voice of despair and hopelessness. By… the utter stupidity of what he had just said.

Really, Ginji!

"Moron!" My hand automatically flew to the back of his head, violently sending him flying through the windshield and subsequently sliding all the way down the Ladybug's front nuzzle.

Sometimes being strong really did have a few drawbacks.

I scrambled out of the car and ran up front to find Chibi-Ginji's bloated form sprawled face flat on the ground, unmoving and… DEAD?

"GINJI!" I cried with as much apprehension as would've blown my cover all the way out to the farthest cosmos.

Of course, naïve as he was, he didn't notice.

He never did.

"Itai!" he groaned, pressing his hands over a fiercely throbbing lump on his forehead.

I knelt before him and hit him one more time. A light, brotherly punch on the head. One I always dished out whenever there's a need to bring some sense back into it.

An affectionate habit I would never get tired of for as long as I'm with him.

Which, I hope, would be forever.

Excuse my sentimentality. I don't usually get this mushy. Revoltingly mushy. So _gay-ly_ mushy!

I guess, I've really lost a great amount of myself to him.

If not all of me, that is!

Yet.

"_Ne_, Ban-chan, what did you do that for?" Cascades of tears began streaming down his puffed-out cheeks.

"Why would you ask such a stupid question?" I quipped, my arms aching to hug him right then and there.

He sat up and leaned against the car, still in chibi-form. His ultra deformed lips still further deformed by a juvenile pout.

"Because nobody has ever told me I am otherwise. Kaoru may have liked me, but that's only because I was strong. Well, I think. Because she never did say I was, y'know… that I looked good."

I sat down beside him, repressing the urge to bonk him again.

Whatever blew into his hollow head that got him thinking such crap?

"Maybe… Maybe this is what I get for dumping the one girl who has ever felt that way for me."

"Moron…" was all I was able to say, finally coming to terms with my partner's bitterness.

I wonder, though, why he was so suddenly worrying his little neonate brain out over such a grown-upish matter that didn't seem to bother him before in the first place.

"Everybody's pairing up with somebody else, Ban-chan. Even Natsumi-chan's got someone special already. No more cute girl is left for me! _Ne_, Ban-chan, how come nobody really wants to hook up with me?"

"Well, there's always Akabane-san," I pointed out at a jeer, my voice low and spooky.

The utterly scandalized Ginji, in all his chibi-kawaii-ness, jumped up and clung onto my shoulder like a hi-tech plushie set into high vibration.

"B-B-B-Ban-chan! Don't s-s-s-s-s-scaaaaare m-m-me like t-that!" he squealed.

I was laughing my guts out when he suddenly let go and shot back to his normal form beside me, a look of childish wonder marring his lovely face.

"Come to think of it, Akabane-san's not been bothering me for some time now. I guess he's gotten tired of me as well…"

Tired my foot! Now that he mentioned it, that ashen imp has not been showing his irascible ass around here lately. That bloody zombie! I bet he knows, too, that's why he's been staying clear off our path!

Having realized, of course, that he didn't stand a chance in battling it out with me, that shady quack doctor turned tail and thought it best to abandon his chances for good.

Gah! Everybody knows he's got a special thing for my partner.

Everybody, except the guy concerned, that is!

Or so it seemed…

"Perhaps… Perhaps I am doomed to be alone forever."

What the—? What's this? Was he, in his insane desperation, considering hitching it up with that vampish Jackal for lack of a better option?

Another slap went smack-dab to his head. "What am I here for, huh?"

I watched him look at me quizzically.

I cleared my throat and looked away, lighting a cigarette to soothe the erratic tension in my nerves.

He looked on, waiting for an answer we all know Ban Mido, the frosty snake-man, greatest coward of love, would never and could never have the courage to say.

At least, not directly. "Heck, you're my partner, after all."

"I know that. I'm sorry, Ban-chan. It's just that, I was thinking…" He gazed up at the vast evening sky and spoke in a quiet voice rimmed with wistful apprehension—and woe, "Someday you're definitely gonna hook up with some girl, get married, have a family… Where would that leave me then, Ban-chan?"

Where else but beside me! Always here beside me!

"I've never had a girlfriend, see. And I bet I never will!"

Of course, I'll make sure you won't, you moron! It's for my own selfish sake!

And probably yours as well.

Or, I hope…

"Ban-chan, I think I'm gonna end up being a lonely spinster for the rest of my life!"

"Ahou, _spinster_ is for women!" I patiently explained, trying hard not to sound too… _warm_. "What kind of a partner am I if I let you be that way?"

Again, the words rushed out, unbidden and unwanted yet with my level of confidence… And acceptance of…

Of—

A discomfiting amount of heat began pooling on my cheeks. The image of me going red all over made me want to cringe.

I was starting to feel like a high school kid with a crush—

Really, Mido!

"You're never gonna leave me?"

I fixed my eyes at an unknown star and shook my head slightly.

"Even if you get married?"

I simply nodded…

_I'm thinking of marrying you!_

"Even if you have kids?"

And nodded…

_Hell, who needs them anyway? One bratty, hardheaded kid is enough to get me through, thank you very much!_

"Will you also have my grave beside yours?"

And nodded again…

_I'll even fight my way out of hell just to be with you in heaven!_

Urgh! Did I just weave all that sap out?

"Opposite your wife's?"

Feeling I could no longer take much more of this mush-attack—without ending up acting _shamelessly_ on it—I gave him a light pat on the shoulder and stood up, throwing my cigar stick away. "Enough of this nonsense, _'ahou_. It's getting late. I do need to sleep, y'know."

_And cut it out with the wife already! Can't you see you're the only one I wanna be with? You! You! YOU!_

"_H-Hai_!" He jumped to his feet, at once switching back to his genki old self, cute smile and all. "Ban-chan's made me feel much better!"

I let the littlest of smiles dangle at the tip of my lips for merely hearing that has made me feel better, too. Knowing I have this much effect on him. Such power over his mood. His happiness.

His very life.

Once inside the car, despite the glacial midnight breeze gushing through the now glass-less windshield—and it was for this very reason that we have opted to take the stocky backseat for tonight—I suddenly felt warm all over. Warm and fuzzy, like some bloody Casanova's soul has wantonly taken possession of me.

"Oi, Ginji."

"_Hai_?"

"I think you are…"

"You think I am what, Ban-chan?"

"I think you look okay." Adorable, in all sense of the word, I was tempted to add, but I simply turned my back on him and curled up on my side of the seat.

It was only a short moment before I felt his arms around me, his hand upon my heart, the warmth of his proximity filling up all the rest of me.

"Thanks, Ban-chan."

I gripped his hand on my chest, tightly as though sealing a lifetime claim on the object of all my pulsating passion and affection.

"I… I love you…," I whispered at a whim, almost at the same time as a light warm breeze from the softest of snores began tickling the back of my ear.

And just when I was feeling _brave_ and inebriated enough with sleep for a little bluntness of the sappiest kind!

I sighed loudly and smiled to myself, this time without restrictions. I pressed his hand closer to my chest, upon the calm, rhythmic beating of my heart and sighed contentedly.

_Oh well, perhaps this isn't so bad after all…_

**-end-**

_Thanks for reading! :)_


	2. Forever Ours

**Fandom:** Getbackers

**Summary:** This is the only way I know by which we can make this moment forever ours. Sequel to What's Mine Is Mine.

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**Title: **Forever Ours

**Author: **Hana Rui

**Genre: **shounen-ai

**Pairing: **Ban Mido x Ginji Amano

* * *

I heard you. I heard you loud and clear, Ban-chan. Even when you weren't saying anything, I knew.

I knew it all along.

But, you see, I had to put up with this show of not knowing because…

Because—

I fear a lot of things, Ban-chan.

And I am not talking about those things which I know you know I fear.

I am not the strongest, spunkiest lot I have often played myself out to be, and I am aware of that.

Compared to you, I can't even measure up to half—not even to a fourth—of your courage.

You are like a God to me, Ban-chan. A deity who fears nothing. A sacred being I can never really match up to, and therefore, I can never really have.

This is exactly why I've so long ago resigned myself to the fact that you'll someday leave me. Leave me to live life all on your own, as what grown men eventually do.

And I'll be… somewhere… Anywhere… trying all my best to be my genki self.

Trying hard not to break apart completely, just as I always do.

Just as I am doing right now, merely thinking of the possibilities—the crippling thoughts of not having you forever.

I may fool myself into believing I am doing okay.

I may fool myself into keeping faith in what I am fighting for. In keeping justice for the people I know… and love.

I may fool myself into believing that I can pull through the toughest ordeal, as long I have you beside me.

I may fool myself into keeping faith in a lot of things, yes.

But I can never fool myself into believing I am—or can ever really be—good enough for you.

It's a fact of life, I guess. When a king and a slave both get fitted in that kind of relationship, the less efficient one would eventually feel haunted by thoughts of not being good enough to please the master. Always wondering his head out on why a man of that stature would even stoop so low to get himself a lower-ranked lover.

It's making me wonder about the same thing now, Ban-chan.

'Coz I really do feel that way for you.

And I've always known you feel this way for me, too.

But the fact remains, you see.

The fact that you're a _master_ and I, a mere _slave_.

And that this kind of relationship will eventually make me doubt the very idea of true love.

It's very essence.

It's very existence.

Did you really mean it when you said you loved me, Ban-chan?

Will you love me like this forever?

After all, who could tell what tomorrow holds? For me? For you?

For the two of us…?

What are the chances that you wouldn't find someone a lot better than I am—than I can ever be—and finally regret ever confessing to me?

What are the chances that you wouldn't get tired of me, Ban-chan?

I fear… the answer to that.

I fear that if you say _no_, you just may be lying, trying to seem romantic at the spur of the moment.

It may be what you feel today, but tomorrow… Tomorrow is a whole new different story.

And I fear that if you say, _yes_… I just might die.

I love you, too, Ban-chan.

But I fear this love will make me lose you for good.

Lose you forever.

So I am keeping up with this act of not knowing it, even after hearing you say it loud and clear.

Because this is the only way I know by which we can make that moment—dream-like and surreal as it may seem—forever ours.

"Ginji…?" I heard you call in the softest whisper.

"Hm…?" I tried to mumble a reply.

"Are you crying?"

It was only at that moment that I became aware of the tears filming my eyes, and the bitter lump of despair lodged in my throat.

Still I said, "No… I am all right, Ban-chan."

"Don't fool me, _'ahou_!" you snarled, eyeing me pointedly from the driver's seat. It was already morning, and you have had the windshield fixed with what was left of the money we got from the previous mission.

I shifted uncomfortably in the passenger's seat, trying at once to hide my face and regain a bit of my genki composure, lest you start asking questions.

But thinking about last night… Of the impending future… Of what you would call moronic stuffs… Have all stripped me off my reserve that I suddenly found myself with this pressing _need_ to tell you what was really on my mind.

I couldn't really help it, could I?

After all, you were the one who started it.

"B-Ban-chan, don't say that again, all right?"

"Huh?" You stared dumbly at me.

"What… What you said last night," I replied almost chokingly, keeping the raking sobs reined in as much as I could.

Silence. Then you sighed and mumbled, "Moron. You were awake, weren't you?"

Awkward silence. I could almost feel the heat rising up to your face. Or was that the one that's only rising in mine?

Still more awkward silence, which was only broken by the gas-boy handing you your change.

You smiled a thank you at him, he tipped his cap in a kind of salute. I bit back a sob and felt stupid for being jealous of that simple exchange.

And then we were off on the road again, the previously un-concluded conversation now seemingly forgotten.

You weren't saying anything. I didn't feel like talking about anything, either.

I doubt things would ever be the same between us again.

And it's all because of last night… And those words you said…

And these doubts you have managed to put in my heart.

I quietly wiped my tear-streaked face on my vest, still trying hard to compose myself, pull myself back together.

Maybe I can fool myself into believing I never heard you last night.

Maybe I can fool myself into believing nothing like that happened and we're still as cool as before.

After all, I am really quite good in fooling myself that way.

"_'Ahou_!" you suddenly cried out.

And I almost flew out of the windshield again when you suddenly stepped on the breaks and stopped the car in the middle of the road.

"B-Ban-chan…" I didn't know if you meant to, but the look you sent my way at that very moment scared the screaming willies out of me.

"Don't tell me—!" you just cried again, your face twisted up in a frown of absolute rage.

"B-Ban-chan…" I was just about ready to push my door open and run for my life.

"Don't tell me—" you kept up with your partial outburst.

I just stared apprehensively at you, wishing with all my heart you'd tell me just what not to tell you already!

"Don't tell me you've been fooling around with that creep Akabane, all along?"

I was stunned. That was absolutely, totally uncalled for.

"Ban-chan…!" It was all I could say, all I have been able to say all this time, actually, as I gaped back at you, my back almost fusing with the passenger door.

You took a deep breath, looking as surprised as I was at what you have just said.

"If that's what you want," you said resignedly, leaning back in your seat.

_But, Ban-chan…_

"I won't say it again," you added, a little acidly.

_But…_

"I'll…" You turned to me, frowned and gradually, eventually showed me a smile I cannot quite place at the moment.

'Coz at that moment I was currently caught up in the thought of having you misinterpret my wariness, and lose you after all.

_"I'll just let you feel it from now on."_

I stared at you for a moment, for a couple of moments…

For a couple more moments…

All those time sorting through my feelings, my thoughts, my doubts.

And eventually finding once again the very thing that made me follow you out into this world...

"Ban-chan…" There were once again tears in my eyes, as I finally realized what I have missed to realize by a hundred miles.

"I mean it, Ginji," you said, eyes looking straight into mine. "I may not mean a lot of things… but you just gotta trust me on this one."

_I realize it now…_

"I do."

"Huh?" You raised a questioning brow at me.

_I realize it now, Ban-chan…_

"I do trust you."

_With you… there's absolutely nothing I should fear._

"Moron," you mumble, before pulling me in for a kiss.

_That I can be the safest…_

_Strongest…_

_Bravest that I can ever really be._

We pull apart, still not minding the blaring horns of the stranded traffic behind us.

"No fooling around with Akabane anymore, all right?" you warned teasingly.

I chuckled, a little embarrassed, "Whatever you say, Ban-chan."

**-end-**

**Note:** _Written for **50_themes** livejournal: Theme #12 Forever Ours_

_Thanks for reading! :)_


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